My Issues With Rain

Whenever it rains, I get a serious case of the blues. If I won the lottery while  receiving a foot massage from Ryan Gosling on a rainy day, I’d still manage to feel depressed. I can’t help but take it personally. The clouds are peeing little soul sucking drops of sadness all over the place, just to ruin my day, and it makes me cranky.

Don't touch me.

It doesn’t even have to be a lot of rain. Someone could spit off the top of a building, and I’d want to go home and listen to Ingrid Michaelson. Or watch the first ten minutes of UP. Try watching that without turning your nose into a snot fountain.

I’m getting distracted.

Rain in southern California is a mixed bag. On the one hand it’s almost always sunny, so I rarely have to deal with it. On the other hand, when it does rain, everyone loses their freaking mind. The freeway slows to a zippy ten miles per hour, people are falling all over the place, and there’s lot’s of this:

This is not a rainy day outfit.

Why do girls wear this? I don’t know. Maybe their knees run at a higher temperature. Maybe they just like their feet better. I’ll let you know if I figure it out.

More than anything, the rainy day blues make it hard for me to write. I get really apathetic and insecure about my writing, and start having all sorts of self abusive doubts.

“Oh yeah, you should definitely take a year and write your novel. Don’t bother getting a job, I’m sure that will pan out really well.”

“Jenna Marbles isn’t afraid to swear on her blog.”

“Your cat only likes you because you feed her.”

It’s a problem.

So how do I break this cycle? There’s a couple ways.

1. I read people who are funnier than me. Like this girl: http://thingsyoulearnincollege.wordpress.com/2012/03/28/sleep-is-for-wimps-right/

2. I run. Very short distances.

3. I make oosh goosh pie.

Oosh goosh pie is the perfect thing to make when you’re feeling self doubt. It’s easy enough to make that you can’t screw it up, it’s delicious, and cheap.

Oosh Goosh Pie

-3 cups cold milk

-Instant pudding mix

-1 package graham crackers

Step one:

Measure out 3 cups of milk. Because if you can measure ingredients, you’ll probably be successful in life.

Like a boss!

Step two:

Whisk in the pudding mix, while beating the hell out of your frustrations.

I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!

Step three: Layer graham crackers and pudding. Use your problem solving skills to make the graham crackers fit.

Yeah. I went to college.

Step four:

Crumble some graham cracker on top and refrigerate for about an hour.

Learn some patience.

Step five:

Get two spoons, find a friend, and eat it out of the pan. That’s the part that will actually make you feel better.

Enjoy the rain!

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April 13, 2012. Tags: , , , . Uncategorized.

6 Comments

  1. Jack replied:

    This is my favorite one you have done yet. You make me laugh more each time…

  2. Sara N. replied:

    Your Adorable Kate! And although I actually kinda like the rain – the craziness that ensues is so not worth it. And If u published a book – I’d buy 5 copies 🙂

  3. liftingasweclimb replied:

    When I get bummed by the rain, I remind myself about the drought. And the fact that it is very, very good for air and skin.

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