Uncomfortable cooking- Episode 1: Meatloaf

Some housekeeping before we begin:

1. Last week, I checked my stats and realized that we’ve hit 1,000 views. I try not to get to wrapped up in readership and numbers, but it’s nice to know that I’m not just sending these posts out into the internet abyss. So thanks for coming back everyone, it’s been my pleasure to cook for you.

2. You can now expect a new post every Monday!

I’ve been trying to branch out recently and cook things that intimidate me or make me uncomfortable. The list is long, and includes things like whole fish, souffle, cake from scratch, anything incorporating meringue, anything that costs more than ten dollars, and anything with eyes. I also really dislike raw meat in general.

My first plan was to cook an entire fish, including the head and tail. As it turns out, most people don’t like it when their food stares back, and therefore most grocery stores don’t sell whole fish. So I’m working on that.

I decided instead to tackle something that really grosses me out; raw meat. And what dish uses more raw meat than meatloaf?

The Rough Recipe for Meatloaf:

1 lb ground beef

1 lb ground pork

1 package bacon

3 eggs

1 clove garlic (optional)

1 cup Italian bread crumbs

Several squirts of ketchup

Several dashes worcestershire sauce. (Did I look up how to spell that? Maybe.)

Italian seasoning

Salt and pepper to taste.

I began by preheating the oven to 375 degrees, and beating three eggs. For future reference, this is the right way to crack an egg:

Yes

This is the wrong way:

No

To the eggs I added the Italian season, ketchup, worcestershire sauce, salt, and pepper. If you wanted to add garlic or onion, this would be the time. This yielded a mixture that looked either like the sunrise or cat puke, depending on your artistic preference.

One man's sunrise is another man's sick.

Enter the raw meat. If you have rubber gloves, I highly suggest you wear them for this part. If you’re a broke writer like me, you’ll just have to suck it up. You’re going to put both packages of meat into the mix, then squish it through your hands until it’s fully broken up and coated in egg. Yes, it’s as gross as it sounds.

Love me?

No!

I REGRET NOTHING.

I regret everything.

Raw meat is exceptionally cold.
Bouncing doesn't help.

Hot water does.

Once I added the cup of bread crumbs, the temperature became much more manageable. I worked these through with the knowledge that the worst had passed.

Next I got out my 9×13 baking pan and formed the mixture into loaf in the center. I surrounded it with frozen vegetables, which turned out to not be the best idea. I coated the top of the loaf in ketchup, which reminded me a great deal of finger painting.

This maybe lasted a little too long.

Next, I draped that sucker in bacon, because everything is better with bacon.

I don't always eat bacon...
wait, yes I do.

Once the loaf reached maximum bacon capacity, I baked it at 35o degrees for about 40 minutes. Here is the finished result:

It smells like happiness.

As I mentioned, the vegetables were a mistake. The amount of time it took to cook the meatloaf crisped the hell out of them.

Did we eat them anyway?

Yes.

Thanks for stopping by, see you next week!

 

P.S. Meatloaf sandwiches are absolutely delicious.

P.P.S. “Meatloaf” sounds so much more appetizing than “loaf of meat.”

 

 

 

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April 23, 2012. Tags: , , , . Cooking.

3 Comments

  1. Andrew replied:

    First off, I saw this post in the corner of my eye in the humor section. I thought it was titled “Uncomfortable Meatloaf”, which was just crazy enough to get my attention. Then upon realizing my mistake clicked on it (because who doesn’t like meatloaf), and saw the recipe. You guys cover your meatloaf in bacon. You win the meatloaf contest….And yes, meatloaf sandwiches are awesome.

    • kcrownover replied:

      Bacon always wins.

      Donuts or bacon? Bacon.
      Love or bacon? Bacon.
      Chuck Norris or bacon? It’s a tie.

      Thanks for stopping by!

  2. Mom and Dad replied:

    Love you Miss Katie! Thank you for cooking for and loving Caityn…you are an angel from God…and so stinkin’ funny!
    Denise

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